Work Hard, Don't Suck: Unveiling the Secrets of Success with Paul "Roscoe" White

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Jeremy: What if everything you believe about yourself and the role you play in the world and the people around you was suddenly ripped away?

Zach: Or what if everything that was your life you wanted to change?

Jeremy: Today we'll help you navigate those situations with Paul White from the one of five project

where he helps people become champions in their own lives.

Zach: Well, Jeremy, I don't often talk about myself on this show only, we only have like maybe 10 or 20% dedicated to me on each show, which I, I think it's, it's a little low in for my taste, so I gonna start off with a little bit about myself just because it kind of resonates with the interview that , we've got for you today.

And it just got me thinking about how many times I've had to [00:01:00] essentially reinvent myself because of some kind of life altering moment that like everything I know kind of went away overnight. And I had to dig down. I had to figure out what those things were. I had to take all these little steps to get to where I needed to be to become that new person that I wanted to be.

Jeremy: Mm-hmm.

Zach: It gets a little bit easier every time, but man, like when, when you have those moments, and I had one back in 2015 where I, I changed jobs and I went from having this gigantic team to having no team and I had to do everything myself like that was. a weird shift for me because I was my job and you knew me at that time.

Like, it was just like, oh, there's, there's the guy with the job. That's what he does. He's always on his phone. And like, that went away overnight and my fricking identity left me.

Jeremy: Yeah.

Zach: was very painful. Like I went into like a pretty deep depression over that, , You know, at the time, some of the work that I had already done, like figured out how to, okay, [00:02:00] recognize the emotion.

Here's what's going on, here's the problem, and then just all the little changes to kind of pull myself outta that. That's when I went, started yoga school. That's when I started like doing the insanity courses and teaching those. That's when I met Sean t for the first time. Like just all had all these like new experiences that I would've never had, had I not like, had that life altering moment that in the moment, Kind of sucked.

Right? Have you been there before?

Jeremy: I definitely, and, and as you're talking, it's making me think of all of the things that I've done in my life, or all of the things I've been involved with, that I used to identify who I am and that I still do. I mean, I, you know, I've been the podcast guy for the last 20 years, right. I've been podcasting since.

It was a thing. I worked in radio for two decades, and so I was always the guy that had the connections. I was always the guy that could pull some strings and make things happen. I was the guy that knew what was going on in the world, right? All these things that you attach yourself to, and when they go away, when you buy into that identity that you give [00:03:00] yourself and it goes away either by choice or someone else's choice, it is a huge wake up call.

About the way you're living your life , and maybe you're not living it authentically to who you should. You know who, who you want to be, who you believe you really are at your core, or maybe you really never did the, the work to figure out who am I at my core. If a job defines who you are, if a, a hobby defines who you are, , it's a really sort of terrifying moment when the identity that you've created for yourself is suddenly ripped away.

And you're left to figure out, well, geez, what now?

Zach: Well, there's that moment, but then. There's also the other moment , where you still have the identity, you know, you want something different. Like, you know you want to change, you wanna do something different, but you still have that identity, you still have that life, you still have , that puzzle that your piece fits into pretty well, right?

Yet you don't wanna be part of that puzzle. You wanna be part of a different puzzle. [00:04:00] Right. So how do you do that too? Right. , that's always been a struggle for me, is when you're comfortable. How do you pick it up and figure out how to make those changes?

Jeremy: Yeah. And we talk all the time about that idea of the North Star, the the goal that you wanna shoot for whether or not you get there. But by aiming in that direction, for better or worse, the steps you then start trying to take to get to that goal, to becoming that person, to becoming that new version of yourself, that other identity.

Or bringing in whatever that thing is that you're chasing in addition to whatever the identity is that you currently have. It is you, you, we've learned it over and over again. It's just those tiny steps you take along the way that ultimately either don't get you to your goal and teach you a new path that you didn't even know was there.

Or when you're lucky and everything lines up correctly, you do reach that goal and you're left with a an amazing opportunity to figure out what's next after that.

Zach: I mean that, that tracks actually to what we talk about when we're on other shows all the time , as men being manly and [00:05:00] doing all the manly things, right? Being tough guys and all that. But then introducing like all these feminine qualities, right, that are, that just make us better human beings.

Like we're not losing that other identity. We're still retaining it, holding onto it. I mean, me, myself, I've dropped some of the toxic traits of, of masculinity, but at the same time, , still retain that identity and you can add things onto it or you can ditch it all together, but like the more you add onto that identity, The time like that identity's gonna shift and you're gonna leave the old one behind, whether you're completely replacing it in a one day, oh shit, my life just changed overnight.

Or if it's just the little piecemeal bits and pieces, you know, five years later you're gonna look back and be like, that's a totally different person.

Jeremy: Yeah, I saw something the other day from, uh, mark Manson, one of my favorite writers who, God, I gotta get him on this show. But he posted something about that idea that he. Ego, that identity, and he, it was something to the effect of, if you're not constantly questioning [00:06:00] who you are and, and the identity that you have, then you're gonna get stuck and, and bad things are going to happen because whatever ego, whatever identity we have, it's, it's almost always this artificial thing that we use to find or carve out a place in the world.

But if you can have a little flexibility and question. Is that current identity, is that current ego serving you or is it holding you back from other things? I just love that perspective of like, don't, don't hang onto it. Don't grasp so tightly onto whatever identity you're trying to build for yourself, because ultimately it's going to change one way or another.

So if you can be a little more fluid with it and a little bit more loose, it just allows you to grow, I think, a little more easily than the alternative.

Zach: And Jeremy, look, I appreciate everything you're saying, but I do think that there's somebody else who can speak to all this a little bit more eloquently than you and I can, or at least more than you can.

Jeremy: Luckily I found him. His name is Paul [00:07:00] White and he believes that anyone can be a champion in life with the right direction and work ethic. He started the one in five project based on the idea that you are the average of the five people closest to you.

I had the Chance to talk to him about that concept as well as

The defining moment where he knew that he was struggling and needed to make a major change.

Paul: So let, lemme just focus on the kind of the, most recent, , revolution. My wife said I didn't have a midlife crisis. I had a midlife enlightenment. So what had happened was I retired from the Air Force about the same time that my kids were transitioning into young adulthood getting their driver's license and didn't require me to be like, I wasn't required to take them places and do things with 'em as much as I had previously.

Right. So, , When you're in the military for so long and, and you know for sure some of your listeners can relate to this, and, and it's not even just military. It's if you devote your life to service of some sort for so long, , it kind of becomes your identity, uh, in a way. And when that was over for me, , that [00:08:00] plus my kids, it, it was one of those.

I lost my why for a lot of things. And I mean, it was the reason I got up early in the morning. It was the, the reason I read so much, it was, the reason I studied it was the reason I kept my mind, body and my soul and balance and I worked out and, , was disciplined with my time during the day and, and all of those things that kind of helped you become a better person each and every day.

Well, I lost that all within just a, a couple of months of each other and after about two and a half years, I realized that I had gotten really good at eating cheezits and watching Netflix

Jeremy: It's one of my specialties.

Paul: Yeah. So, you know, but there's, there's for every cause there's effect, right? So the effect was I wasn't very happy with my reflection in the mirror anymore.

And I'd had a back surgery already, you know, flying jets for years just kind of broke me in half, like quite literally broke me in half and. , from my toes to my neck. I just, about every joint has something wrong with it. So I'd already had a back surgery. Now I'm, I'm getting a little bit overweight, uh, where I just don't [00:09:00] like myself anymore.

I'm in, in a little bit of pain mentally. I'm not as, I, I'm just foggy, , and I was on YouTube one day. , watching this video about something to the effect of, you know, books every man should read or, or some BS like that. And I downloaded this book on Audible and within about 10 minutes I had a notebook out.

I was taking notes and going down rabbit holes, and I, no kidding man. I spent probably a good four months just exploring , different tangents off of this one book, and I found myself reading everything from the Bible and the Quran. To quantum physics. I mean, exploring the origins of time and just all kinds of weird, tangential things, you know?

But what it, what it did, the book was the catalyst that kind of got me back on the right path. And, and by that, I became so addicted , and I, I wanted to listen to that book so much that I started to create time in my day to listen more. And one of those, one of the ways that I created that time was to go for walks around my neighborhood.

Well, after two or three weeks of doing that, I noticed, well, my ankles don't hurt as much anymore. [00:10:00] My knees are starting to feel better. My back doesn't hurt anymore. My reflection in the mirror is starting to look a little bit better, or at least going in the right direction. , it was just kinda these little stepping stones.

And it took about two years where I walked outta the room one day and uh, I'd been back here researching or reading or doing something. And I came around the corner and my wife says, Hey, stop. Uh, I don't know what you're doing back there, but I gotta get some of that. And it, no kidding, it took two years for her to say something.

Now whether she noticed before that, I don't know, but, , it's like the analogy of you take a cup and you put a drop of water in. It doesn't seem like a whole lot. But if you do that over a very long period of time, suddenly the cup is full.

And you kind of look back and you're like, holy crap. How did that happen? That's exactly how I got to where I am now, is just over about two and a half years of, of just putting one drop in the cup at a time.

Jeremy: Let's talk about those drops. So what are the things that you've done over the years to now? I mean, it sounds like the disciplines back there. You've got some sort of physical activity in your life. You're mentally, it's all you're, you're sharper now, you're back sort of where you [00:11:00] wanted to be. Walk me through some of those steps.

What are those little things? I, I mean, we're very much the same way. We, we constantly encourage people if you're gonna start somewhere, walking is so powerful and if you're gonna attach reading a book to it, it's just, you're, you're doubling down on, on the self-improvement process. What are some of those other small steps that you took to get to where you are now?

Paul: Well, sure. I'll give you my story, but first I'll, I'll just tell you that for any of your listeners, a, a great place to start is read Atomic Habits by James Clear. , that book is, it's all about making one little small adjustment every day, and, and the analogy that I use in my teachings and, and on my platform is, Uh, when I was in flight school, we learned this thing called the 60 to one rule, and the analogy goes something like this.

If in in flying, you know, there's a compass rose and there's 360 degrees around the compass, ho rose north is 360, east is 0, 9 0 South is 180, west is two 70. So if I tell somebody to fly heading of 180 0, right? Very specifically, I need you to fly 180. If that person flies heading of 1 79, just one [00:12:00] degree.

Of separation after 60 miles, that person will be one mile off course. So a very, very small change can lead to a tremendous outcome over a long enough period of time. Right? So that's kind of the analogy piece of it. Now, for me personally, , very specifically, I remember this, I was in Alabama visiting family over Memorial Day weekend last year, and because of my back issues and my knee issues, Especially after my surgery, my doctor had told me, he said, Hey, don't expect to be jogging probably ever again.

Like jogging is probably out of your purview. Stick to your elliptical, a bike, something low impact, cuz we don't want you to have a a re-injury kind of thing. Well, I'm out walking one morning. Listening to an audio book, I'm, I'm kind of into it. I've been out for about 30 minutes and I picked a tree about 200 yards down the road and I said, you know what, I'm gonna try to jog to that tree.

Now, mind you, I haven't jogged in probably two or three years at this point. I've been steady on an elliptical, , getting my cardio and, and I felt like I was in pretty decent shape. But, you know, jogging's just different than [00:13:00] all of those things. And I jogged to the tree and I made it, and it wasn't pretty, in fact, it was downright ugly.

Um, it really might have not even classified as a jog to, to a lot of people. , but I got to the tree and, and I said, you know what? Okay, I, I did that. Lemme see if I can jog to that next tree. And I jogged to the next tree, about a hundred yards or so. And, and I strung a few of those together that day. I, I was a little sore the next day, felt, you know, got up, stretched it out, felt pretty good.

A few days later I did it again, and that was in May of last year. . Fast forward to January of this year. , I'm sitting in the living room with my wife and, and I'm just dead scrolling social media cuz I'm bored and I have this ad that pops up for an exterra half marathon trail race through the mountains here in Phoenix.

And I was like, well, shit, I, let me go try this. I don't know if I can do this or not. I haven't run more than five miles in probably 10 years, right? So I got up the next morning. And I went on a five mile run just to see if I could do it. I just wanted to see if I could finish it and not die, and I made it felt decent at the end of it.[00:14:00]

And the next Sunday I went and ran a stinking half marathon and it all started with run into a tree 200 yards away.

Jeremy: I, I, I love that so much because that is just something that we, we emphasize here over and over again, is that it's just, it is those tiny, incremental things, and e even more so, the bravery that you had to take that first step because you could have sat there and thought about that and listened to that voice in, in your head from the doctor saying, don't do this.

You're never gonna do this. But just going like, I wonder what, what would happen? Why not? Let's just take a

Paul: well, well, no, I'm not, so I'm certainly not gonna advocate for going against the doctor's

Jeremy: No, no, no. Of course, of

Paul: so please, listeners, don't, don't take me wrong on that. You know, you have to know your body. You have to know yourself, and let's not just skip over the nuance that's in there too. I mean, there's a lot of mental.

And physical and spiritual training that goes along with that to get you to the point where you believe in yourself enough. You have this self-discipline to do this repetitively every single day. [00:15:00] And, and that's how habits are formed, right? Again, reference some of these books that are built on building habits, and, and that's one of my, one of my biggest key points in, in my platform is.

You know, you have to commit to the self-improvement piece of it. And when you commit to it, you have to have the discipline to do it every single day, the way it's supposed to be done, how it's supposed to be done, when it's supposed to be done, and repeat that over and over and over again. Don't be afraid to push outta your boundaries so that 200 meter jog to the first tree ended up in a 13 mile run through the mountains, that's, that's pushing boundaries, that's going outta your comfort zone just a little bit over a very long period of time.

Jeremy: So key. So key and, and so I wanna talk a little bit about what you now teach as a, as a coach and helping other people. Uh, let's talk about your three P's formula. We're talking about plan, posture, and perform. Let's start with plan.

Paul: Okay, well I'll even take it one step further back and I'll go, before you start to make a plan, you have to set a goal, right? Um, you have to have a target to aim for before you can start planning to make it to that target. And, and I'll reference some military terms here cuz that's what we did. Every [00:16:00] day, day in and day out, we would have a mission, we would plan for a target, we'd figure out how we're gonna get to the target, how we're gonna fight our way in, kill the target and fight our way back out.

And there's a, there's so many details that go down into that. But first, uh, you know, on a personal level, if you're looking at personal goals, I'd say that you really need to do a, a top to bottom self inspection on yourself and. Figure out what your goals are. If your goal is to, you know, lose 10 pounds before the high school reunion, so you look sexy in the swimsuit by the beach, okay, set that goal out there.

And it needs to follow a very specific mantra. We use the smart mantra, specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and time-based. And if you can stick to that, set your goals in accordance with those, , left and right boundaries. Now you can start to plan and, and I teach people to work from the target backwards, so, If that is your goal to, to lose 10 pounds before the, high school reunion, let's say that's in three months.

Okay, well, let's back that up and let's figure out how we're gonna get there from here. All right, so there's certain things that you have to do for [00:17:00] sure. You're probably gonna have to change your diet or at least inspect your diet. You're gonna have to inspect your physical fitness plan. You're gonna have to inspect your, your mental toughness plan and your commitment to discipline and things like that.

Once you've got those and, and two, . Th there could be intermediate targets, intermediate milestones in there to help you get to your goal. And, and if you can keep that front site focus, we, we, we say kill the closest alligator to the boat. I know I gotta row across the lake. It's full of alligators, but I gotta kill the closest alligator to the boat to move on to the next one.

So in the planning process, that's kind of the way that I teach it and brainstorm ideas. Pick one that you think is the best implement and then assess.

Jeremy: Yeah. The thing that's so powerful about that, that whole process of working toward a goal is not even achieving the goal, right? I mean, that that can be a very fleeting, like, Hey, we did it. Cool. Now what?

Paul: Oh, the journey is the experience.

Jeremy: work that you put into it, like that 10 pound analogy that you used. You can sit there worrying about losing 10 pounds for the next three months, but the actions you're going to take to [00:18:00] reach that goal, cleaning up your diet, adding more activity, all of those little things, those become the lifestyle that you no longer need to reach for the same kind of goals.

Your goals can completely change to other things because your life is now so much more on track. Right?

Paul: Yeah, a hundred percent. I mean, you can take this into so many, you can take this into business and your, you know, your personal life or raising your kids, or, uh, I mean, anything you can, you could set this up where, you know, I said 10 pounds in three months to look sexy by the beach.

All right, well, that's great. Well, what are you gonna do when you lose that 10 pounds? Are you gonna quit?

Jeremy: Right.

Paul: I mean are, is that it? Are you done? So, so it really comes down and now we get to have this really cool discussion on how do you find, define success. So I personally, I try to not put limits on my success.

I'll set my goals out there and it's great when I reach a goal. I love winning. I mean, winning is addictive just like any other drug. I love to win, but once I win, well now what? Well, I'm setting another goal, man. I'm keeping going. I'm pushing further. So success becomes the journey, not the destination, if

Jeremy: Oh, totally. Totally. And, and I [00:19:00] want to, I wanna jump to, to, to part two here in the posture in just a minute, but I also wanna touch on the fact that. You don't always hit your goal because along the way you learn something that helps you deviate. And now a military goal very different. There's this very specific target, a thing that has to happen in order to ensure safety and, and all that.

But when it comes to these kinds of things, we're if, if you approach it in a flexible way and, and the goal can, uh, for me, I always encourage people to go for a goal that they'll never reach because of the lessons you'll learn in trying to figure out

Paul: Set audacious goals. Yep.

Jeremy: So, so it is okay to miss those goals, right?

Because we can, we can learn something else along the way that changes our course to something even better.

Paul: Yeah. And you have to recognize opportunity along the way and. , maybe you come to this realization, you have this epiphany one morning you wake up, you got two weeks to go and you've only lost five pounds. Okay, maybe I'm not gonna reach that 10 pound mark. Was it a colossal failure?

No, dude, you lost five pounds. That's great. And you're starting to implement good habits along the way. So I say continue. In fact, bump your timeline out a little bit and keep pressing on. [00:20:00] Maybe you couldn't make the three months, but maybe you can make it in four months and you're still gonna look good by the beach, dude, cuz you lost five pounds.

Don't be afraid to pivot kind of mentality. . You may find that the goal that you're going after wasn't the goal that you wanted to do in the first place. Maybe you find that it was something slightly different and you misidentified your original goal. Oh, also not bad.

Don't be afraid to pivot and go somewhere else. But the process, the planning process, and the winning formula is still the same. Plan posture, perform.

Jeremy: All right, posture. Talk to me about what that means.

Paul: Yeah. So the way that we teach it here, and we, and we try to keep things very simple, kind of in rules of three. That's where planned posture perform, came from. , posturing is gathering your necessary resources in order to execute your plan. So in my example that I'm using that we're going with now, the losing 10 pounds, getting ready for the beach is you may need to go invest in some running shoes.

You may need to go clean out your pantry and get rid of all the bad stuff that's in there. You know, get rid of the Lay's potato chips and maybe go [00:21:00] invest in some broccoli. I mean, these are all, they're, these are gonna be highlighted during the inspection and the planning process, and you're gonna identify these things that you need in order to accomplish your goal.

Hey, you might want to go buy a new bathing suit in the size that you want to be in three months and hang that in your bedroom as motivation that you see every single day. You know, little things like this. And the, the idea behind it is to posture your resources that you need. The physical, the mental, the spiritual resources that you need so that when you require those resources, they're within arms reach of you and you don't have to stop what you're doing and go Amazon shopping or run to Walmart real quick to get some more protein mix because you've already bought that.

It's already there, it's ready to go so that the day that you get ready to start, you've got everything that you need to reach your goal.

Jeremy: , before we jump to perform the, the day you decide to start, we always tell people it's today. Cuz if you wait till tomorrow, it's gonna be next weekend, next month. How, how important is it to just like, whatever tiny thing you can do today to [00:22:00] just get the ball rolling.

Paul: Well, I'll use the analogy of, of having kids when I was younger, , my wife and I, and, and I believe that a lot of families do this, they say, well, we're just waiting for the right time to have kids. Dude, if you wait for the right time, you'll never do it because the stars just don't freaking align. You gotta jump off the cliff.

You got I, that's just me. You gotta go for it. Now other people, there are some people who like to delve into the organization piece of it, and they love the planning and the lead up to it and all that. Okay, so maybe, maybe I'll use my wife for example. My wife likes to set. Deadlines to finish and deadlines to start.

That psychologically it helps her a little bit. Me, I'm much more off the cuff like, oh, I'm gonna do 75. Hard challenge. Well, I'm gonna start right now. I'm gonna get up and go do 2 45 minute workouts this afternoon. Like, I'm, I'm just that kind of guy. And psychologically I think that it helps me to do that.

I, I like to just, I don't know, take a step, see where it goes.

Jeremy: I, uh, I'm such, I've, I have become really in the last few years, such a, a strong [00:23:00] advocate for that very thing. Like you just have to leap and hope that the net will appear because usually it does and, and helps you find what it is. You were probably gonna sit on the couch and think about for the next six months and, and never get

Paul: Well, yeah. Well, you don't wanna get that stuck in that analysis paralysis thing either. You know, you sit there and you think about something for so long. Well thinking doesn't get shit done. Doing stuff gets stuff done. And if I can take one step, I'm one step closer to my goal now.

Jeremy: Exactly. All right. Perform seems obvious, but breakdown. Perform for me. What do you mean by that? In the three P process?

Paul: Pretty simple. You just execute the plan. You've already laid everything out. You know the detailed procedures of what you need to do to reach your goal. You know that your diet plan is there cuz you've sketched it out for 90 days. You know that your workout plan is there, so you sketched it out for 90 days.

You've postured all the chess pieces on the board so that you know where to go and how to get them when you need them. You've got the gym membership, you've got the shoes, you've got the cool gym bag, you've got the, the AirPods. All this stuff now you have to do is start knocking down dominoes Man. Just take those, take those very [00:24:00] simple steps and start moving.

Jeremy: Talk to me about some of the people you've worked with. Is, is there a story or two where you walked somebody from that? Just, I can't, I can't move forward to, oh my God, I can't believe how far I've come.

Paul: Well, yes, there is one. And, and the person that I'm most proud of is my wife. , . She had her enlightenment in probably September last year. And, , some things had happened in our personal life and , she finally hit bottom and it was, it was a good thing. You know, it's when you hit bottom, the only way to go is up.

, she started small, , per my recommendation. And, and you know, it's, it's a little bit different when you're working with a client versus when you're working with, , the person you sleep with every night. , It's a little more delicate, I would say. , So anyways, I, I did my best to motivate her and, and I've learned to communicate with her slightly different.

I, I don't say things like, you need to, I say, Hey, well, maybe we could, , look at things from a different angle. , little things like that. Well, she w she did a 30 day sober challenge right off the bat. Crushed it. It was awesome. She started going to the gym and she was walking, uh, on the [00:25:00] treadmill and, you know, lifting some minor weights.

But the point is she was going, she was starting to build that habit. , , obviously not to the level that I am. And one of the, one of the top level things that I talk on my platform is everybody is on their own individual journey. , you can't keep up with me, I can't keep up with you. She can't keep up with me.

So it's not comparison. Don't, don't compare yourself to other people and go, well, David Goggins is running ultramarathons. Why can't I, well cuz David Goggins is David Goggins

Jeremy: freak of nature, is what it's.

Paul: exactly man. So you know what I'm saying? So, , It came down to, uh, we're sitting in the living room back in, I guess it was towards the middle of January.

And I'd been kind of poking her a little bit. I did a Spartan race back in the fall, and I mean, I was jacked up afterwards. It was so much fun. We, we trained hard for it, me and me and a few of my buddies. And, um, I decided I was gonna do a tough mutter, uh, a few weeks ago and, I kind of kept poking her a little bit and I, and I finally talked her into, she signed us up for this rugged maniac obstacle course on April 1st.[00:26:00]

And I said, well, hell, if you signed up for that, you might as well just sign up for the tough utter. And so I finally got her. She goes, fine, I hate you. And she signed up for the Tough Utter, right? So, But what that did though, man, is it, it, it put a target out there for her and, and it gave her something to aim for.

And she started getting a little bit more serious about the gym and, and her workout plans and everything. And we went out there, uh, I mean a person who was almost completely sedentary last summer. We went out there and ran a 5k tough mutter, , To see and, and this was the best part, this is why I say I was so proud of her because I got to see from obstacle number one.

First of all, she jogged from the start line to obstacle number one. It was about 0.9 miles, and she jogged the entire way. That's the furthest she's jogged since I've met her in the military 26 years ago. She jogged nonstop. She set her goal out there and she goes, I can make it, I can do it, I can do it.

And again, it wasn't pretty, but we did it. And to see her level of confidence grow from obstacle number one through Obstacle 25 was just phenomenal. I mean, it was, it was just, it was one of those things where [00:27:00] I, if I could have wrote a story about it, that would be the story I wrote.

Jeremy: So she had the benefit of being surrounded by you. And I'm, uh, imagining your circle as a lot of people that sort of motivate each other. You talk about the, the, the one in five being surrounded by the, the people you, you are, you're a product of the people that are in, in your immediate circle. How, how important is that in, in this process as you, as you try to sort of figure these things out?

Paul: The people you surround, you yourself with is gonna be the energy that you get back, right. , And we try to surround ourselves. You find, especially in today's world, like, like in my parents' generation and your parents' generation, , if you wanted to hang out with five people, you had to go, you know, hang out in the Walmart parking lot and sit on a tailgate and hang out with five people.

Well, today you could have these little social circles, , due to social media and. And just the way society is now, that you may have several different pockets of five people that you hang out with. You may have a church group that you hang out with. You may have your concert group that you hang out with, or your, your se uh, Sunday afternoon basketball game, the, you know, pickup game that [00:28:00] you, that you go with.

So I think it's really important to. To surround yourself with the right energy, the right people who are helping you go in the right direction. And a good example of that was my wife wanted to quit smoking. So we kind of stepped back from our circle of friends for just a minute because a few of them were smokers and we wanted to remove that negative influence while she was trying to create new habits.

And, and since then we've, you know, everything's fine. We're, we're back in our circle. And because she's. She's become disciplined about saying, no, , that's not me anymore. I'm not a smoker, I'm a non-smoker. , so the other piece to the 1 0 5 project and, and the five people you hang out with is we like to look at it, not from who is influencing me, but from being one of the five people.

So who am I influencing? , and again, it's very selfish. It's all about the individual. It's introspection on, on myself, and how do my actions. Influence other people. So if I can just focus on being the best version of me that I can, [00:29:00] then hopefully that inspires other people to wanna raise their standards a little bit.

Jeremy: Uh, finally, sort of along these same lines, how important is accountability And, and I know it's different for everybody. I'm, I'm very externally motivated. Uh, often I, I don't hold myself accountable enough. I need some external factor to, to keep me driven and focused on whatever it is I'm going after. So how How do you teach that in your coaching program in terms of accountability?

Paul: I teach writing things down. , it's caveman, but I have a whiteboard, , around the corner from where I'm sitting. I have a whiteboard that I can see from anywhere in my room, and I log my daily events on that whiteboard and I log 'em in colors, , things that I don't get done, or if I take a rest day from the gym or something like that, I log that in red and I hate to see red on my board.

It's, it's really that simple. It doesn't have to be super complicated. , generally speaking, there are two voices in your head at all times. There's, well, there's the bitch voice and the boss voice, right? Empathy and apathy and. The empathetic voice. I named him Stan. , he's my voice [00:30:00] that tells me it's okay to sit inside.

The wind's blowing it's cold out. You really don't need to go on that run, man. I mean, doesn't that pizza smell great? There's a great show on Netflix right now. Just, you know, put your pajama pants on and chill for a little bit. And then there's the other voice in your head, the, the apathetic voice that's more objective.

See, Stan, Stan likes to go all for your feelings and how you feel about things, and then there's the other voice in your head, the, the apathetic voice and, and that guy's name is Steve. And Steve is like QB one with the six pack abs, got the hot chick and drives a cool car, right? , Steve is your inner champion.

He's the guy that says, well, I don't care if it's cold. My schedule says I'm supposed to go and do the thing, I'm gonna go do the thing. ? And that's where programs like 75 hard and, and, , 30 days to battle Ready. , all these cool programs are out there. They're designed to get you to say no to the bitch voice and yes to the boss voice.

That's it. And, and as soon as you recognize, once you do it a few times, and you can recognize when . Those two different voices are talking to [00:31:00] you, it actually becomes kind of a game inside your own head. It, it's, it's kind of fun and I just, I did this challenge last weekend. , it's called the 12 Hour Walk Challenge.

Uh, Colin o Brady set the record for Transversing Antarctica solo, and he, at the end of it, he's got a phenomenal story. Go to his website and check it out. But at the end of it, he came up with this thing called the 12 hour Walk. And the idea is to get outside, no phone, no headphones, no nothing, just you and your own thoughts for 12 hours.

And so I set out, last Saturday, I left my house at six in the morning, packed up a backpack, and I took off. And at the out eight hour and 29 minute mark, I took my piece of paper outta my pocket and I wrote down this is it Stan? Because everything hurt and everything in my body was telling me to stop and take a break.

But then, because I know how to say no to Stan, I looked over at Steve and said, no, we're we're gonna keep going. We're gonna keep pressing on. And I mean, I had to pour myself into my chair at the end of the night, but it was totally worth it. And you get that great sense of satisfaction once you get to that.

[00:32:00] That piece to where you can say, these are the things on my plate today. The, these are my to-do list, or my power list, or however you wanna frame it. And then when you actually accomplish that, you can look back and you, and when you put that, that sticky note in the shredder at the end of the day, man, that that just makes you feel warm and fuzzy.

You get to go jump in your bed feeling good like you accomplished something. Right

Jeremy: It's amazing, man. We've, we've referenced the, uh, coaching a few times. Where can we learn more about you and your, and your work online?

Paul: on. Go to Paul Roscoe white.com. And I've got all the contact information is listed on there, the top level's, kind of about me in the program. And, and then there's a few tabs at the top. , the programs that we do, it's under the Work Hard Don't Suck tab. Uh, that's a, actually the title of a, of a book that I have coming out .

, I think it's, I think it's gonna be a good one. It's all good life lessons that I'm trying to pass to my kids. And really the secret to life is work hard and don't suck, or at least suck a little less every day. , I'm on all the socials at, uh, Paul Roscoe White, so I try to keep everything the same.

Reach out.

Jeremy: [00:33:00] Thanks to Paul White from the one of five project. He also has a new book coming out. It is called Work Hard. Don't Suck. You can find links to him and his work in the show notes for this episode@thefitmess.com.

Zach: I love that title,

but the interesting thing about it is that. That voice in my head that talks negatively to me, it is that voice, the consistent message is you suck, you should work harder.

Jeremy: Mm,

Zach: So it's so interesting to hear it that way in such a positive mindset, whereas the voice that I hear in my head is always negative.

Jeremy: And one of the things that I think ties into that, that is so critical to the work that he does with his 1 0 5 project is the idea that you sort of are the makeup of the people closest to you, that small group around you. But I liked that he said something that we don't often hear.

We, we focus so much on how we are affected by the people we're surrounded by. So if we're hanging out with our drinking buddies and our smoking buddies and doing all that stuff, it's gonna be really easy to slip into that lifestyle. If you're hanging out with your CrossFit buddies, you're going to the gym all the time, you're [00:34:00] probably taking better care of yourself.

But the impact that you can have on other people in that group, I, I really appreciated that he highlighted that, because that's not something we don't hear very often on this show.

And Zach, I know you like to keep the bar nice and low for all of your friends.

Zach: absolutely. I'm all about no expectations in all things.

Jeremy: It's just, it just speaks to the nature of, you know, self-help or self-development. You rarely does anybody get into listening to a podcast like this to find out how can I help other people, right? Everyone's coming into it going, how can I be better? And so if you can find ways to help your community to help the people immediately closest to you, I'm shocked.

I, you know, the whole reason we do this show is to help other people. And when we do hear from them, How it helps them, how we say things that make people \ live their lives differently. My mind is blown because to me so often, Zach, I'm just talking to you or I'm looking at myself and saying all the things I need to hear right now.

And you [00:35:00] sort of forget that like out there in the real world, there's somebody listening to this and it could affect their life and hopefully for the better. So when that happens, I'm totally just blown away , that I can have that kind of an impact on people around me.

Zach: Yeah, same. Especially since when I do the same thing at home with my daughter or even with you and tell and give you advice on what you should do differently. I get ignored for months and months and months and months, and then both of you go, Hey, look at this thing I found on the internet. This is kind of cool, isn't it?

And it's the exact same thing I told you

Jeremy: sounds smart. Your daughter sounds really smart. I really like her approach to life.

Zach: Yes. I mean , the life advice she gets from Pinterest is, is incredible.

One more thing I just wanna touch on is like the three P formula where you've got plan, posture and perform. And we talk a lot about , planning the thing and performing the thing. , but what I, I really like about this, the posture bit is the, is the setting yourself up for success.

It's, it's, it's not the plan. And it's not performing. It's, it's the middle part where like you get rid of all the junk food from your [00:36:00] cupboards, like setting yourself up for success and taking some of those actions to keep you accountable to what you wanna perform on based on your plan.

I, I thought that was gold. I thought that was just like a missing piece that we don't hear a lot.

Jeremy: It, it directly applies to my life the, the way I've been trying to change my diet lately. I, I need to be much more in control of the food that is bought and brought into the house. Because if I don't have what I need, it's not, it's not about what is there, it's about what's not there. If I don't have the foods I need, I default to what's easy, what's quick, what's probably not helping serve my goals.

So that's just one of those examples of putting the tools in place, having the schedule, having the foods you need, the whatever, like the weights for the gym, whatever the thing is that you need, having them having it ready to go is what helps you execute that plan more effectively. But that is gonna do it for this episode of The Fit Mess. Thank you so much for listening. We hope you'll keep in touch with us through our newsletter. You can sign up for that at our website. [00:37:00] It is the fit mess.com, and that is where we will be back in just a few days with a brand new episode. Thanks for listening.