Why You Are Wrong About The 80/20 Rule And How to Start Using It The Right Way

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Zach: Have you ever said to yourself, you should be something or you should do something?

Jeremy: I should, all over myself all the time.

Zach: That's not exactly where I was going, but it works. do you ever stop and question why you should all of yourself.

Jeremy: No, there's usually too much of a mess to deal with to actually get that introspective.

Zach: On today's show, we're gonna talk about why you shouldn't be shooting all over yourself, and it does not include Pepto Bismol.

Jeremy: Zach, you know me. I can be my own worst enemy when it comes to. Trying to make, uh, self-improvement and things I like to get in my own way. I like to let myself off the hook. I like to listen to all my limiting beliefs and all the stuff that normally goes along with it.

Zach: Don't worry, you're my worst enemy too.[00:01:00]

Jeremy: so I'm, I'm taking a walk in the woods the other day listening to an audiobook. It's called, , saving Time, and it's written by Jenny Odell. the premise of her book is not so much about how to get more time, how to, how to fit more into your day and optimize your schedule and all that. Ultimately, it comes back to the idea of making the most of the time that you have, because who knows tomorrow?

Today could be the last day. You never know. There was a part of it that stood out to me and she was talking about that concept, this idea that I think a lot of us in self-development, , get hung up on is extending our life. So spending tons of time in the gym and counting every calorie and every macro and, and all these things to make sure that we're doing everything the best we possibly can.

And she raises the question, are you really living, if you're spending all of your time focused on extending your life? I felt that, familiar pull to like, oh yeah, you don't have to do all this stuff. This is bullshit. You can just like co just enjoy the moment, man. Just feed [00:02:00] up. Let's catch some waves and just chill.

This is gonna be awesome. I wanted to give up. I was like, yeah, totally. Yeah. Why am I so focused? Why am I so worried about this? It's gonna be fine. But then, , all of the work that I've done kicked in my, no, there's a balance here. , you don't go crazy. If you don't go off the deep end and focus all of your energy on that, you put in enough to do your best and simultaneously try to enjoy the moment at the same time.

Zach: Yeah, this is the, this is literally classic 80 20, ? , you'll get 80% of the results with 20% of the effort, and then the last 20% of the results you'll get with 80% of the effort. Like at some point it's not worth it, like get the 80% , with as minimal effort as you possibly can.

And then the rest of it's almost not worth chasing. , from a life expectancy perspective, , you will waste all of your time trying to get that last little bit and it's not worth it.

Jeremy: It just reminds me of all of the times that I've been out to a restaurant out somewhere and someone's like, oh, come on. Live a little, [00:03:00] you know, have a piece of cake or whatever. Okay. Yes. That's one thing, and like you're saying 80 20, but when that turns into, well, the next night, another, , choice that doesn't meet with what I'm trying to do, another choice that doesn't meet with what I'm trying to do, if you're not measuring it, figuring out what that 20% is, becomes this kind of fuzzy number that you just sort of feel out instead of actually tracking the data to make sure that you're staying on on track.

Zach: Yeah, I mean, I don't track it anymore because I've got it pretty dialed in, but like, you know, some weeks it's 70, 30, some weeks it's 90 10. Right? It's not always 80. 20. But , yeah, if you are thinking you're 80 20 and you're not tracking it, my guess is that you're closer to 50 50.

Jeremy: Mm-hmm. This isn't, you know, I don't mean for this to be like diet talk, that's just the sort of the relatable thing to talk about. But I mean, all of the stuff that, that we talk about here, whether it's going to the gym, meditating yoga, all breath work, cold plunges, [00:04:00] all the stuff that we talk about, it's so easy to look even, you know, in our Facebook community.

The other day somebody was talking about how the great thing about us is that we're, so, we do all these extraordinary things. And I kind of chuckled 'cause I was like, , they must seem extraordinary on the outside because they don't feel extraordinary. When I'm sitting in a, , ice cold river down the street, that doesn't feel extraordinary to me.

When I'm in the gym at six o'clock in the morning, that doesn't feel extraordinary to me when I'm, , stopping eating at eight o'clock at night. That doesn't feel extraordinary to me. But I get that from the outside, from someone who hasn't begun this path. All of that stuff seems like, oh, that's crazy, because I remember having that conversation with you a number of times and going, are you nuts?

That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard of, and now it's just like a habit. It's just a thing that I just do.

Zach: Again, same thing, like 80% of the people on the planet, you're doing more than they are doing. Right. So to you it doesn't seem like a whole lot, but to everyone else, it's like, oh, that's a lot of work. That's a lot of things you're doing.

Jeremy: [00:05:00] The other part of this that comes up for me that I think maybe is why I was so triggered by it, uh, or, or why it became so important to me in the moment anyways, is, you know, I'm 46 and it sometimes it feels like it. Sometimes I feel like I'm 22 usually when I'm telling fart jokes. But there is the a, a ticking of the clock that seems to get louder

Zach: Mm-hmm.

By the way, that's called tinnitus. That's, that's why it's getting louder. Old man.

Jeremy: the pressure to succeed, the pressure to become whatever, all of it, it, I, it just feels like it gets more and more every day. And I feel myself living in this tug of war between, I have everything I want. I'm happy. I should do more. I should, I should. I should. And so when I see a book like this called Saving Time, that that plays to that [00:06:00] urgency for me. Like how much can I squeeze in? What can I, how can I make the best of my schedule? How can I make sure that I'm knocking out everything I can in the most efficient way possible? Because I do, I feel, I feel time running out. But I also don't necessarily have a finish line that I'm running toward. There's not necessarily a destination, so it's a weird place to be in where I'm trying to figure out the balance between a. Making the most of this moment, being happy in this moment and pursuing this elusive feeling of having made it having success like I have it. So I'm in this weird place of trying to figure out what does it, what does it mean?

What am I still pursuing, and why am I pursuing it when I have everything that I want?

Zach: It is an interesting balance. I mean, we were. Or at least I was raised with, you know, like always shooting for the next thing. Right? I, I grew up with, and when you're, when you're done with school, you do the, this thing and you go to college and then you get the job and then you go do this. Like, it's always the next thing, the next thing, the next thing.

[00:07:00] And you know, we talk a lot about the journey and how important that is. It's not really the end result, it's, it's getting there and who you become in the process, um, and being happy and being okay with that. I think a lot of. What you're talking about, I keep thinking about self-compassion, right? Where you know, just being okay and content with who you are and where you are and when you are in your life is a really hard skill to learn because nobody taught us that.

It's always the next thing, the next thing, the next thing , do this right, do that right, or you're gonna fail and be miserable your whole life. And that's really hard to learn. I think both of us have gotten. You know, much further in that journey , than we would've had we not been curious about ourselves and asked questions.

And, you know, I know I'm not there myself. I don't think I'll ever get there, but I do have the, the knowledge and the power to stop myself and go, wait a minute, wait a minute. You are [00:08:00] good where you are, you're okay. Like, everything's fine. You're not dying at this particular moment. Maybe you will tomorrow, but. It's definitely a learned skill. Like it doesn't just come naturally. You, you do have to force it somewhat.

Jeremy: Yeah. Yeah. Uh, the, the, the phrase that keeps popping up , in my head is that idea of stop shooting all over yourself. Like stop telling all yourself all the things you should be doing. Most of the time I think that is, you know, societal pressure that you put on yourself to measure up to someone else's expectation.

And if you can develop that skill and the one that says, fuck the expectation, I'm gonna do what's right for me, that's where I think you can start to find some of that peace. Or maybe I can, I don't know.

Zach: I think any of us can, right? We can always do better in that arena. There's always gonna be room for improvement until the day you die, right? There're we're never gonna get there a hundred percent. And again, that, that goes back to the journey, not the end goal. Because the goal is to be content all the time with who you [00:09:00] are.

None of us are ever gonna get there. But to be able to recognize that, , you can choose to be content. You make that choice. It's never gonna come a day where you're just done and you're content and there's never anything else you have to do. You'll have moments of it. And when you do have those moments, like take them in, savor them.

But it's always a choice. It's always a choice. You, you choose to be content or you choose to want more. It's up to you.

When I should on myself, I make sure I'm near a bathroom because it's about to get messy.

Jeremy: Well, I would be curious to know you, the listener, when you should on yourself. What are the shoulds you tell yourself? What's missing from your life? What pressure do you put on yourself that maybe is not necessary? We'd love to hear from you in our Facebook group. , You can find the link to that on our website in the show notes for this episode@thefit.com.

You can also sign up for our newsletter there if that is more your thing and uh, email us that way. But for now, that's gonna do it for [00:10:00] this episode. Thank you so much for listening. We will be back@thefitmass.com in just a few days with a brand new episode. Thanks for listening.

Zach: See you everyone.