May 22, 2023

7 Ways You Can Overcome Self-Doubt: Mastering the Mindset for Personal Transformation

Join bestselling author Byron Morrison on The Fit Mess podcast as he shares his transformative journey and reveals practical strategies to overcome mental roadblocks and achieve personal growth. Reflecting on his past struggles and the wake-up call of...

Join bestselling author Byron Morrison on The Fit Mess podcast as he shares his transformative journey and reveals practical strategies to overcome mental roadblocks and achieve personal growth. Reflecting on his past struggles and the wake-up call of his father's battle with cancer, Byron realized the need for change and embarked on a mission to take control of his life. Now, with three bestselling books and a fourth on the way, Byron has helped individuals worldwide transform their lives and businesses. In this episode, he addresses key topics such as shifting from reaction to response, reframing fear as motivation, breaking down challenges into manageable actions, and setting 90-day goals for progress.

Topics discussed:

  • Overcoming self-sabotage and feeling stuck
  • The awakening moment and realizing the need for change
  • Battling with mental roadblocks and setbacks
  • The power of psychology and mindset in personal growth
  • Taking control of health, relationships, and professional success
  • The impact of external catalysts on transformation
  • Breaking free from fear and other limiting beliefs
  • The importance of shifting from reaction to response
  • Balancing emotions and logical thinking
  • Strategies for overcoming fear and taking action
  • Reframing fear as a motivator for pursuing goals
  • Making incremental changes and building habits

***EXCLUSIVE BONUS CONTENT***  Listen to this week's bonus clip where we ask Byron about how he got through one of the biggest challenges he ever faced...even when he wasn't sure he would be able to

Resources:

Guest Website

Transcript

Zach: [00:00:00] Are you tired of feeling stuck watching life pass you by from the sidelines? Do you find yourself battling with self-sabotage, unfulfilled goals, and a nagging sense that there must be something more?

Jeremy: . Today you'll meet Byron Morrison, a man who went from being his own worst enemy to becoming a bestselling author, speaker, and mentor. He'll share the pivotal moment that sparked his awakening, the mental roadblocks he conquered, and the powerful mindset shifts that allowed him to break free and take control of his life.

So you can too,

Zach: Even me.

Jeremy: even you dummy.

Zach. The advice today is, unlike most advice we get on this show, Byron Morrison is gonna tell you why. Maybe you [00:01:00] should just give up,

Zach: Okay. Cool. Thanks.

Jeremy: that was easy.

Zach: I've just been looking for one person to say it's okay to do it and, and just stop doing all the things I'm doing.

Jeremy: all my problems solved.

Zach: although I suspect that when he says to stop doing things, Not exactly talking about all the things that we do to like make our lives better.

Jeremy: Correct. We will get into all of the seven ways to get out of your own way and take control of your life when we get to the interview here with Byron in just a moment, but he hit on something that I think is important and that is the Constant drumming of the message of just keep working harder. Just keep doing it a little bit more. Just keep grinding and all of your dreams will come true.

Zach: Which is so funny because I. Before recording this today, a whole bunch of memes popped up on Instagram and Facebook. That basically was like a character going, I'm gonna keep working harder and get rich. And then the boss was right next to him going, if he keeps working harder, I'm gonna get rich. But I, uh, it is [00:02:00] an interesting concept.

I I, I do remember years ago, we, we talked about it on the show, but I had a therapist and I was sitting there complaining about, All the things that I was like, I know I need to do this, but I don't want to. And like I know I need to do that, but I don't want to. And she listened to me, complained for like four or five sessions and I think, and I loved her cuz she would, she would call my bullshit all the time and she was like, look, I think, I think you're too comfortable.

I think you have it too good. And I think you're actually just happy enough. To not make any changes and that's why you're not doing anything. And like that slapped me in the face. It really did. And that actually kickstarted me that day to go, oh, I don't have to wait until I'm so uncomfortable that I have to change.

I can make little changes now. I can make changes now. I can do things now that change who I am. I don't have to wait for it to be painful, seems like my mo. I usually wait for it to be painful.

Jeremy: It is [00:03:00] funny how the complaining tends to come in the middle. You get a new job. It's all exciting. It's new stuff you're learning, you're the new, you're gonna mess something up, you're the new guy and then you're there for a while and like you've got it down. You're not getting the promotion or the raise isn't quite what you expected, all that stuff.

That's when you start complaining, right? Like, ah, God, this sucks. Like, how come this is so you were, you were so excited to have that job, you know, a year ago or whatever. But when you get into that comfort zone where you're not pushing yourself, you're not being challenged. That's when the complaining starts, and I'm starting to think that maybe that's the key is that when it's time to complain, maybe it's time to give up and move on to something else.

Zach: would say yes, that is totally true, but the number of things I've complained about today alone, I mean, I'd have to just give up on everything.

Jeremy: You do have to be a, a bit selective, I

Zach: Yeah, I think so. Cuz I, Nope, it'd be all over. But to bring it back to like all [00:04:00] seriousness, I do believe that. Even things where we're comfortable with, we know how to do, growth only happens when you're frustrated when you're actually doing something you've never done before. When we're riding that wave of like we know what we're doing, we know what we're doing well enough that we can complain about all the things that are wrong with it and not actually change the things that are wrong with it, that is truly your moment to really kind of look inside and go.

Is this helping me? Is this actually making me grow? Am I doing the things I want to do in my entire life because of this thing? And you know, like the book says, maybe you should give it up. I have given up quite a few things, like even at work, it's happened a few times where like opportunity would show up for me to be able to , do something different.

But that requires. That I have to give up something that I do on, on the everyday basis, right? In order for me to grow in my professional career, I need to like delegate or give something up on the other side of it, I can't do it all.

Jeremy: Yeah. Yeah, yeah. [00:05:00] I have, uh, a similar, , situation at home where, you know, we've been dragging our kids to these events that they don't want to go to. We don't want to take 'em. They don't want to go. And yet, week after week, we fight about get in the car, we gotta go, come on, we gotta get to the thing that none of us wants to go to.

We finally just said, if you wanna quit, just quit. Like it's easier on all of us. Like there's no rule that just because you started something means you have to finish it.

Especially as a kid. Like the whole point of being a kid and being young is trying stuff, deciding it sucks and trying something else.

Zach: Yep. I do that with books all the time. Like I start a book and I get, you know, 25% of the way through if I'm, if I'm not hooked. And usually I am. But like if I'm not hooked with it, I will put it down. I won't finish it. And just, I can hear my dad's voice like, you know, start what you finished no matter what.

And sometimes it's, it's just gonna cause you pain and suffering and grief and it's not worth it. Go on to the next thing. You're not gonna get anything outta something that you're just [00:06:00] slogging through.

Jeremy: It's funny you mentioned the childhood thing because , that's part of what had me dragging my kid to this thing she didn't wanna do anymore, was this idea that like, well when I was a a kid, I quit football, I quit high school, like I quit everything cuz things got too hard. So I was totally putting on her, oh no, you're not gonna be a quitter.

Like I was like, I figured it out. You know, much too late in life. I'm not gonna let you be a quitter. And then finally I was like, wait, she's a kid. Lighten up, dude. It's

Zach: Yeah,

Jeremy: this is not a make or break situation. She'll find something else. Move on.

Zach: I know. What an asshole.

Jeremy: We project so much shit on our kids, or at least I do.

Maybe I'm the only asshole here. I don't know.

Zach: Oh, no, no, no, no. It's, it's there. . you and I can probably keep going with all the things that we were like uncomfortable with and we wanted to quit and we didn't quit, or we quit the things that we should have kept going on. two of us have done it. Our guest has done it. He can talk about it much more eloquently than we can. So let's cut over to our guest [00:07:00] Byron Morrison. He's the author of, maybe You Should Give Up Seven Ways to Get Out of Your Own Way and Take Control of your Life. Our conversation started with the struggles he faced before he got out of his own way.

Byron: If I take you back about 10 years, like truth be told, I was not in a good place. I was overweight, I was stuck in a job that was killing me. I was burnt out and every single day was just this battle to get through.

And after my dad's cancer, I had this big wake up call that something had to change and I wish I could sit here and tell you that overnight everything magically got better, but for the next couple years, I was in this constant cycle where I felt like I was taking one step forwards and two steps back.

I'd lose some weight and make some progress in my career, and then I'd just fall backwards. And it was just so frustrating cuz I knew what I needed to do to create the life that I wanted. I just wasn't doing it. It was only when I really started diving into the psychology and mindset behind it all that I figured out that actually I was going in my own way.

I was my own worst enemy sabotaging everything from my health to my relationships and my professional success. I was only once I got that [00:08:00] realization that I could finally start turning it around.

Jeremy: And it sounds like your dad's health situation was a, was a big catalyst for that. So tell me about that.

What was that sort of moment

Byron: where you found that shift? Yeah, so for him when he, um, basically he had most of his bowels surgically removed and he spent 25 days in I c u, uh, most of our life support and breathing through a tracheostomy. And luckily he pulled through. It's something that I'm eternally grateful for, but that was just the catalyst where I realized how fragile life actually is.

It almost kind of gave me this wake up call of looking back and seeing how much my own life I've wasted watching from the sidelines. Like at that point, I never felt comfortable in my body. I didn't have the confidence to progress in my career. I knew that I wasn't anywhere close to my potential, but I was just essentially just watching life from the sidelines.

And I was just kind of the thing of, do you know what? There has to be something more to life and I need to find a way to actually turn it around.

Jeremy: And so now you're not on the sidelines, you're in the game. You're the the man in the arena, as they say. So tell us about today. Who is [00:09:00] Byron

Byron: today? Yeah, so over the last decade I've been fortunate enough, I've written three best selling books.

I've, at this point helped people in 15 different countries ranging from CEOs to entrepreneurs and business leaders to really take control of their life in business. Um, I'm at a point, my fourth book, maybe you should give up. It's about to be released and then we look at the trajectory for the next step where I wanna start speaking around the world and helping people just really actually take control of the life that they want.

So it's been a rollercoaster of a journey, but it's been a lot of fun as well.

Jeremy: I'm so curious about just, just the title of your book that maybe you should give up. Tell me about that. Cuz that's, that's something that I think whatever, whatever entrepreneurial journey you're on, whatever health journey you're on, whatever spiritual path you're on, you're always tempted with that.

There's always that sense of like, this isn't, maybe this isn't the right thing for me. So what, so what do you mean by maybe you

Byron: should give up? Yeah, that was the entire point of the title is you hear it and it's so counterproductive. You're like, but everything tells me not to quit, to keep pushing. And I find that for so many people, that's the exact reason why [00:10:00] they're stuck.

And the book, maybe you should give up, is not about giving up on your goals and dreams. Instead, over working with people in 15 different countries, what I discovered was there are seven mental roadblocks that every single one of us struggles with. That holds us back and stops us from living the life that we want.

So ultimately, the book is help out helping you break through and let go of them so that you can finally move forward. So it's maybe you should give up on being controlled by fear, comparing yourself to others, being too hard on yourself, worrying about problems that haven't happened yet. All of these things that are, are weighing you down and keeping you stuck.

So it's about giving you the mindset you've needed to set yourself free and let go of them so that you can actually move forward.

Jeremy: So seven limiting beliefs. I think you just highlighted, uh, several of them there, but let's, let's break down some of those. What are the most common ones that the people you work with bring to you that you're just like, this is another case of, it's just as simple.

You just have

Byron: to, yep. So the first one is being reactive to the world around you. So most people live their life in a state of reaction where things happen to it, they're react to it, and then. [00:11:00] They kind of go throughout their day. The problem with that though, is there's a huge difference between a reaction and a response.

A reaction is driven by emotion and impulsive, whereas a response is calculated and controlled. And that's why if you actually wanna make progress with your life, you have to break that cycle. You need to get to a point where instead of being governed by emotions, when something happens, you can slow down, process what's going on, understand why you feel the way that you do.

And then choose how you respond to it. It's all about shifting your focus from the past and things you can't change to the present and how you deal with it, because the problem's gonna be there either way, but the way that you react and respond is gonna be completely different, and that's gonna determine whether you're spending your life stressed and overwhelmed or feeling grounded and in control.

So that's the first big roadblock that we have to break through. Otherwise, nothing else is actually gonna matter.

Jeremy: It's so interesting because I, I feel like the more time I spend in this space, the more I see, uh, sort of two conflicting viewpoints on this. And, and one is the more stoic [00:12:00] I, I think where some of that is going is, is being logical.

Not letting emotion rule, not responding emotionally to everything and, and taking a little more time to think it through. But then there are the other people that say that your emotion is your instinct and you gotta follow that and lead with that. Is, is there, is it a balance? Is does one lead more in, in, in the way

Byron: you teach?

I lean far more to the storic side of it just because your emotions are there for a reason. You need to understand them, but you also need to not allow yourself to be governed by it. Like there's an example I give in the book of, um, there was a few months ago I was sat on a train and across from me was a group of kids and they were screaming and they're shouting.

And I remember just being sat there on the edge of my seat. Getting so annoyed. I was like, why will they not shut up? This is so frustrating. And then I called myself. I was like, do you know what? I'm being completely reactive to them. Like they weren't annoying me. I was choosing to be annoyed by what they were doing.

And it was only when I caught myself in that, that I could shift my focus to what was going on. Cuz the reality is there was so many solutions to my problem. I could have looked out the window, I could have turned up my music, [00:13:00] I could have. Focused on my work. I could have done what I did eventually and I moved seats.

But because I was so focused on the problem, I was blinded to EV any solution because I allowed my emotions to take over. And that's why the work I do, it's not about making you numb to your emotions, you're human, but it's about becoming in tune with them and recognizing why you feel the way that you do, and then change the response.

Cuz like I said before, the problem was there. Either way, I could either be reactive and allowed to control me, or I could focus on finding a solution and move forward.

Jeremy: It's so fu so I, I literally just had this conversation with a friend over the weekend, uh, uh, about something similar. But, uh, one of it is sort of stoic te teaching the Marcus Aurelius idea of, uh, you know, never be caught complaining even to yourself.

And I've been trying to follow that myself more lately because I just find complaining to be completely counterproductive. It's, it's a waste of energy that could be spent on finding that solution. But the debate, uh, on the other side of this, the conversation I was having with a friend was, well, it's not complaining.

It's venting. You've got things you've gotta get off your chest, you've gotta, [00:14:00] you sort of process that stuff to be able to come up with the solution. Do you, do you think there's a, a balance there? Is there value in complaining, uh, to just

Byron: to get that off your chest? It depends on the situation. Like if you're someone in a victim mindset and you're just spending your whole day complaining about things, obviously that's not gonna be productive.

But if you're in a different situation where something's gone wrong and you've been derailed yet, things haven't worked out, I. I find one of the worst things you can do is bottle it up, because then that is something that you then carry with you, and it can be hours, days, weeks, that it's just holding it inside and it derails you.

And that's why in the book I talk about one of my favorite strategies I call the 15 minute Rule, and it's basically when something does knock you off your game. And you need time to deal with it. Give yourself time to process and work through it. In that 15 minutes. Maybe you wanna go for a walk, maybe you wanna talk to a friend, maybe you wanna complain, vent, whatever you need to just get it off your chest and deal with it.

With the caveat being that that end of the 15 minutes, you're gonna stop. You're gonna breathe and be like, [00:15:00] okay, what do I need to do with this now? How do I need to move forward? So it is those times that you do get massively thrown off, like allow yourself to process it. But, but that's different from being just complaining for the sake of it.

Yeah. So you've gotta find that balance there.

Jeremy: Yeah, definitely. All right. On the topic of emotions, fear obviously is a huge part of, uh, any, uh, obstacle to whatever goal we're, we're trying to achieve. So talk to me about the, the role that fear plays. Does it have value and how do we address it as we try to take on whatever

Byron: challenge we're taking on?

Yeah, so fear is the next mental barrier in the book. Because I find that once people, okay, they've stopped reacting. They know what they need to do, they're then not doing it. So we need to understand, okay, where is this fear coming from? Because whether it's failure, judgment, rejection, not being good enough, all of that fear is your subconscious programming wanting to keep you where you are.

And that's why you really need to understand and bring it to awareness. What are you actually afraid of? Because we have this tendency to blow it out of proportion and convince ourselves that it's far worse than it actually is, and that's why we almost become paralyzed, [00:16:00] and this is why it's really understanding.

Okay, what are you actually afraid of here? Where is that coming from? And then what do you need to do about it? And to anyone listening to this, one of my favorite ways to overcome fear is to reframe it rather than focusing on what's going wrong, focus on what are you gonna miss out on by never actually going after it.

If you can fast forward to the end of your life and you look back looking at. What's gonna happen if you never go, uh, go off your goals? What's gonna happen this month if you don't pick up the phone and hit your revenue targets? What's gonna happen if you can't provide for your family? If you can make the pain of not taking action more painful than the pain of what could go wrong, suddenly it becomes easier to follow through.

You need to tip in the other direction and really use that fear as a motive error to actually take action.

Jeremy: And how do you, uh, suggest people take on these challenges? I mean, we're big advocates for, you know, just the tiny microscopic changes every day that build up over time and eventually they become habit.

They become part of who you are versus, you know, I'm, I'm gonna carve out 10 hours on Saturday. I'm gonna knock this thing out. Yeah,

Byron: it's very similar [00:17:00] to my approach cuz I find a lot of people, the reason why they get stuck in their own head is they. Focus on step five when they should be focusing on step number one.

They build it up as this huge endeavor, like I need to do all of this, and then they do nothing and that's why I'm such a big pusher. Break it down into micro-actions like what do you need to do today to move forward? What is the action you can take to start building some momentum? You start doing that and that's how your confidence goes up and everything becomes easier.

Whereas we have this tendency just worry if, oh, I need to do all of this, and it's just overwhelming to the point to just keep putting it off.

Jeremy: And then how do you prioritize that? How do

Byron: you know what's important? It goes back to figuring out what are your actual goals. I always push anyone I work with to figure out where do you wanna be in 90 days from now?

Because a year is too long, like too much can change, whereas 90 days can feel tangible. And then you can ask yourself, okay, if that's where I wanna be in 90 days, what do I need to do this week in order to move forward? And you can use as a filtering lens because then when you have new tasks or opportunities, you can [00:18:00] audit it and ask yourself, is gonna gain this done gonna get me close to my goals?

If the answer's no. Then you know that you need to delegate it or hand it off or simply say no. And then you can prioritize your tasks and focus based on what's actually gonna get you in alignment with where you want to be using that to really hone it in.

Jeremy: So with all of this, I mean, you've worked with tons of people.

Tell me about, uh, is, is there a, a standout client, somebody who you've worked with, who came in just, you know, at, at the floor of whatever their experience was and they, they got to exactly what they were aiming for. Can you walk me through something like that that happened

Byron: with a client? It's difficult to put out one example just cuz over the last decade I've worked with people in 15 different countries and like, but just talking about recent ones, like I had a guy who sent me a testimonial a few days ago who, he came to me at a point when his business, he had become the bottleneck.

He knew what he needed to do, but he was overthinking it. He was second guessing himself. He was avoiding the actions he needed to take because he was just being reactive and stuck in firefighting. So for him, it was really figuring out, okay, who's the [00:19:00] next level version of him? Who's the leader he wants to become for his business?

And then from there, reverse engineering it. Figuring out, okay, what are the routines he has to develop? What are the behaviors he needs to create? How does he then need to build out every other era of his life? He's gone and done that. They've now gone to record salesman. They've hit all of their targets.

They're growing. They're about to go up into eight figures, revenue, and he's made this huge shift by changing the way that he was showing up. So there's so many examples. I could dive in, but at the very core, the reason why. All of the clients I work with and going back to the foundation of the book, it's all about figuring out who you need to become.

Cuz every new level of success needs a new level of you. And that's why anyone listening to this right now, if you're stuck, it's probably because you're relying too much on the habits and the behaviors and way of doing things that got you to where you are. And this is why you need to figure out, okay, who's the next level version of you?

Really break that down and ask yourself, like, knowing the vision I want, what's the version of me who would've made it happen, and what then can you reverse engineering the habits, the [00:20:00] behaviors, and the non-negotiables you need to embody in order to become that person?

Jeremy: I think a lot of times the thing that, uh, hurts people is those blind spots. They, they think they know who they want to become. They, they have an idea, but they're, they're just not seeing something clearly. So how important is it to, to turn to a mentor, a coach, somebody who, uh, is a few steps ahead of you to help figure all that out and, and cl discover

Byron: a clearer path?

It's massively important. Like one of my favorite saying is success leaves clues. Like you can either go through and be blind and try and figure it out by yourself, or you can find someone who's done it and get them to help you actually make the same path. Like part of the reason I struggled for so long was I was trying to do it on my own.

I just went in like I didn't really know much about personal development at the time. This was a world that I was very alien to, so I was just trying to make these changes and just. See what happens. Whereas now if I wa have a problem in my life, I'm like, who can I hire? Who's done it? Who can show me the way?

Because I found it saves so much time and energy and [00:21:00] resources by actually having someone to guide you. And it's the same as if you look at professional athletes. They don't hire coaches after they've won championships. They have the right support the entire way because they know they need someone to bring out their best.

Jeremy: Basing that question of asking for help turning to somebody else, a lot of times it is, it's that belief that I'm supposed to do this myself. I'm supposed to be good enough. I'm supposed to have all of this in me. That's just one of a number of limiting beliefs.

So talk to me about like, uh, like sort of where those other limiting beliefs come from, how they're formed and what we can do to, to, to challenge them and to learn a, a new way of, of, of

Byron: thinking about them. A lot of it comes down just to the society's perception that's ingrained within us that getting help makes you weak.

Um, I've got a new client that I started working with about a month ago, and in our session last week, he brought up with me of like, and he was just really beating himself up. He was like, oh, I couldn't get all this in place. I've had to hire you and spend all this money to figure this out. And I had to stop him.

I was like, you. Being here does not make you weak. Like you've come to me for help. As [00:22:00] you've recognized you had a problem in your life, in business, you wanted to get an expert to help guide you because you wanna get to the next level. That doesn't mean you're a failure. That means that you're willing to accept that actually I need support in order to make it happen.

It's the same as if you look at anyone from presidents to leaders, to top CEOs, they've all surrounded themselves with the right support because they know they need that around them. Whereas a lot of people, the reason why they're stuck is they convince themselves that if I ask for help or I speak to someone that makes me weak, it means I'm not good enough.

It means I couldn't cut it. And you've really gotta overcome that belief in yourself. So accepting that actually you getting the right guidance is a strength. It means you're opening yourself up and it's a stepping stone to get to the next level. And I find this is where so many people sabotage themselves because they're just beating themselves up over something that couldn't be further from the truth.

Jeremy: Yeah. They get, they, they, we get stuck in that spot of almost a victim of this is, this was never meant for me. Doing this at all was a huge mistake. You know, [00:23:00] every time I try something it fails. How do we get over that? I mean, and what do you tell your clients? Cause I, I'm asking you for a little therapy session here myself, cuz I have clients that like, every week it's just, I never should have done this.

This was a mistake. I, I'm not the guy, blah, blah, blah. And you tell 'em over and over again how, how to get through that and they just stay stuck there. So what do you tell that person?

Byron: It comes down to framing cuz a lot of people see mistakes as the end of the world. Whereas actually every mistake is a stepping stone that's gonna get you one step close towards where you wanna be.

Meaning it's only a bad thing if you don't learn from it and you keep repeating in the future. But a lot of people have this belief that if they don't get right straight away or perfect, they're a failure. And this is why at the first sign of defeat, they just collapse and just give up. And this is why it's all about recognizing that.

Do you know what? All of that is part of the process. Nothing that you're great at in your life right now. You've got immediately, and this is why you have to practice self-compassion, to recognize, okay, things went wrong, it didn't turn out, but what do you need to learn [00:24:00] from it? What are the takeaways here that'll gonna help you improve?

And every time you get marginally better, or you eliminate ideas and ways of doing things, that's how you then figure out what you need to be doing. So it's simply part of the journey.

Jeremy: I, I love what you said there about what to let go of, because I think so often we turn to, I, there's something missing. I need more, I need more, I need more, I need to, I need to add this, I need to bring this in to, to make this better.

But sometimes it is, and this sort of gets back to the idea of the book of just like letting go. Like just, you don't have to just keep piling on there. There are things that are in your way that you're clinging to. Just let them go. Right.

Byron: It's also recognizing that failure is not permanent. Like one of the examples I use in Elon is the book, and I use in some my context, Elon Musk, like regardless of how anyone listening may feel about him on a personal level, like there's no denying the impact he's had on the world.

But here's also failed spectacularly in public fashion time and time again, but. He doesn't deter him because he knows the vision. He knows where he [00:25:00] wants to do it. He recognizes that those failures are lessons. That's how they learn what to do. Like tape, take PayPal as an example, like when it first came out was voted the worst business idea of the year because a se, a security palm device like software and it was terrible, but they failed From that, they learned to and they pivoted into the virtual wall.

It is today. But if he had just quitted the first sign of failure, he'd never would've got to where he is, and that's why so many people just put this pressure on themselves to succeed immediately. Whereas actually when you start embracing failure and being like, okay, I failed. What do I learn? How do I move forward?

Then you no longer feel bad about it, then it becomes so much easier.

Jeremy: So as, as we start to wrap things up here, you know, we always try like to ask people, you know, obviously there's not one thing, there's not one secret pill magic formula thing.

It's always about incremental steps. What are some of the starting points for someone on whatever journey they're on to consider as they, as they start out

Byron: on that path? So the first thing, going back to what I spoke about is just figuring out what you want and [00:26:00] who you wanna become, because one of my favorite mindset shifts is getting people to start showing up as who they wanna be in everything they do.

Because if you spend your life hoping, That you feel motivated or relying on feelings like discipline and willpower, you're never gonna take action. And that's why if you wanna start getting results, whether it's in fitness, in your business, career, relationship, whatever it is, you need to start pushing yourself to show up as the person you wanna be.

And that's why my favorite question to ask in every situation is, what is the person I wanna become? What would they do right now? Would they make excuses? Would they put it off, or would they push themselves to take action? Whether it's hitting that workout, having that tough conversation, working on that report.

When you start making decisions and taking action based on who you wanna be, that's when the entire game changes. That's how you can start building your confidence and momentum and becomes easier to follow through. And then when you take that and you overcome your beliefs and your fears and your doubts and everything else, That's how you can actually start taking control of your life.

So I'd say that's the starting point for anyone [00:27:00] listening to this, regardless of where they are in their journey.

Jeremy: And finally, as, uh, you got the new book coming out, other best sellers already on the shelf, where can we learn more about you and the work

Byron: you do? Yes, you can get my new book. Maybe you should give up seven ways to get out of your own way and take control of your life anywhere that you can order books.

Um, you can also find out more about me@byronmorrison.com and I'm active on most social media platforms like LinkedIn, Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook. Just search for author Byron Morrison and I'll come up

Jeremy: Thanks to Byron Morrison, author of Maybe you should give up Seven Ways to get out of your own way and take control of your life. You can find links to him and his work in the show notes for this episode@thefitmass.com. We didn't get into all the roadblocks, but we touched on a few that I think are important. One of them is of course, that reaction to the world. I know this is something I still wrestle with. I know everybody does that like immediate reaction saying the thing you didn't mean to say or reacting the way you didn't intend to react.

But if you can take a little bit more of that stoic approach, if you can build in things like , His 15 minute rule to [00:28:00] process challenges and then focus on finding the solution after that. It just is such a better way to live rather than constantly putting your foot in your mouth and regretting the way you reacted to a situation.

Zach: and man, I mean, he talks about fear. It is something that. Drives our subconscious. When we're afraid of something we don't even know, we're afraid of it. We just make choices that seem logical. And if you go back and look at it, you made it outta fear. , that shit can change the course of your life , if you're letting fear drive your decisions.

So I, I love how he encourages people to imagine the regret of not pushing through to those goals and not fighting against that fear. , and using that as your motivation and your drive to take action on whatever it is that you want. Cuz I know between you and I, like probably 10, 15 times a week, I make decisions based outta fear and then I immediately regret them.

I'd rather picture the regret first.

Jeremy: Mm-hmm.

Zach: [00:29:00] Then just avoid the whole thing.

Jeremy: Well, and it speaks to what we were talking about at the beginning of the show too, is that that comfort zone when you're stuck there, the fear of the unknown. The fear of what if this fails? The fear of, , what, if this doesn't go the way I want it to go, is what prevents us from taking those big, drastic leaps and, and trying new things.

So you have to, you have to look at fear in the face and plow right through it if you really want to achieve whatever goal you're chasing. And finally, you know, Byron talks about how to get there, right? Like how to achieve those goals. And again, it's breaking that goal down into small challenges, into micro actions. Those little things you can do day by day that feel like they're not moving the needle. But at the end of a week of a month of six months, you look back and you go, oh my God. Look how far I came just by going one step at a time.

Zach: You know, and it's, it really is that simple. Again, if we're gonna. Continue talking about memes. I saw a

Jeremy: It's the meme.

show with Zach.

Zach: It is the meme show. I saw a picture of it. It was just, it was Winnie the poo, holding his big belly up in the mirror [00:30:00] and, and the caption on. It was checking to see if the salad I ate two weeks ago had any results.

Jeremy: That's right.

I'm afraid it doesn't work that way, unfortunately.

Zach: was cute though. It was super cute. It made me wanna watch Blood and Honey.

Jeremy: All right. Well that brings us to the end of the show and maybe you should quit listening to this episode cuz this is the end. But we hope you'll sign up for our newsletter. . Where we'll make sure to start including all of Zach's favorite memes so you never miss a thing.

Zach: And if they could only see my shirt with two light saber plugged in the U USB ports charging,

Jeremy: You can get it at our website, the fit mess.com, and that's where we'll be back in just a few days with a brand new episode. Thanks for listening.

Zach: See everyone. [00:31:00]

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byron morrison

Author

Byron Morrison is the author of the book "Maybe You Should Give Up - 7 ways to get out of your own way and take control of your life". He's also a high performance coach who for the last decade has helped people in 15 countries to break through to the next level of success