What You Can Learn From Your Fitness Failures And How To Overcome Them

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Have you ever had a streak in the gym
where you're making gains, you're making

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progress, everything is going your way,
and then like a dumbass, your ego hurts

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yourself?

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you

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That's actual audio of my last workout
that did exactly where I did exactly what

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you're talking about.

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Alright, well, we'll talk about my latest
dumbassery in the gym that set me back on

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my workout routine and help you get back
on track with yours in just a minute.

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I was taking my own advice from the last
show and.

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started running, right?

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And so I had some kind of bad knees.

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They're a little bit sore.

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And so, you know, I needed to do something
needed to move my body.

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So I decided, well, go to the gym on day I
should have run so I could rest my knees.

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And I'm in the gym and I'm hearing my own
words about like, you know, you need to

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you need to sort of you can push harder,
you can do you can do a little more than

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you think.

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If you have somebody pushing you, you tend
to work a little harder.

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So I'm doing a deadlift.

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And I'm like, yeah, I can do a little more
than this this week.

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I know I just added a few pounds on the
other day, but I can add a few more.

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And so I put a few more on literally on
the way down from my last lift.

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My back just seizes up and it's like,
nope, that was a mistake.

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And I just thought, you know, it's it's
good advice to push yourself outside your

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comfort zone, but you don't have to do it
every single day.

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Like you don't have to push it every
single time you lift the stupid bar

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because you end up hurting yourself if you
if you push too hard, too fast.

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the gym I go to, we do classes and things
like that.

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And the last few months have been really
cool where Mondays they focus on squats

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and Wednesdays they focus on something
else.

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But it's been the same thing every Monday.

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So you can go up and up and up and up
every Monday.

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And whatever I did the previous Monday, I
logged it and then I went in the next

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Monday and I ended up hitting like,

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exact same was kind of, I was a little
mad.

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I was like, ugh, I was hoping for like at
least a little bit more than last time.

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But I hit the same weight.

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And then when I punched all my score into
the app, like confetti started going all

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over the place and said you hit a new PR.

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I was like, what the hell does this mean?

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Well, what do you mean?

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A new PR?

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Like, you know, personal

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And I went back and looked and the week
before it was two squats and that week and

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that week it was three squats.

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So it was like the same weight, but more
reps.

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And I was like, okay.

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Well, I guess I did a little bit more.

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So now I get it though.

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Sometimes you just gotta be okay with like
moving and not beating your prior self.

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Yeah, and it just was a reminder of like,
I'm not doing this to become a world

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champion bodybuilder.

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I'm not doing this to compete.

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There's no there's no event that I'm just
doing this to move every day.

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And so now I've spent the last four days
resting, sitting on my ass, letting my

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back not hurt anymore.

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And like, for what?

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Like, why did I push?

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Like, again, it's finding that line.

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Like, how do you how do you know?

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This is where a coach comes in, right?

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Because the coach can be like, you're
good.

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Stay right where you're at.

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But my coach is a robot and it and it
there's a number and I lift that number

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and sometimes I get cocky and like I can
do a little more than that.

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And so I got cocky and now I'm hurt.

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And luckily I'm feeling better today.

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I think I can actually get out and do
something.

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But I just was like, you're you're going
there for what's in between your ears.

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We're not trying to like grow the 24 inch
pythons like Hulk Hogan.

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Like we're trying to just take care of
what's going on in your head.

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So.

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watts.

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The 24 inch pythons, come on.

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That's what Hogan always called his
biceps.

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Anyways, You didn't watch enough
professional wrestling growing up

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apparently.

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But I was just like, it's so stupid.

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I couldn't engage as a dad the way I
wanted to.

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I couldn't take the kids to the pool and
throw them around like I normally do.

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I had to sit in the hot tub for two hours
a day trying to rest my back and be able

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to move.

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And it was just like this reminder of
like, what's the point?

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Like what is the reason you're doing the
thing?

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And if it's just to move every day, you
don't have to just keep racking on weight.

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I'm not trying to lift some miracle amount
on the bar.

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Like just go do enough that's challenging.

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Push yourself when it feels right, but
like listen to your body and don't don't

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have an ego about it again.

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Every time I've tried to lift with my ego,
that's when I get hurt.

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And this was just another example of that.

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And it was like, OK, good advice.

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Push.

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Work harder, but calm down a little bit
cowboy.

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You don't you don't have to go that hard.

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You know you don't.

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You don't have to add weight to the same
bar twice in the same week just because

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you're feeling a little good that.

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Yeah, that was the, again, the gym I go
to, I go there because there's not a lot

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of ego there.

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Like people are really celebratory of you
wherever you are.

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And that's cool.

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I know the gym I used to go to, I got hurt
multiple times because like the guy next

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to me was like, that's all you're putting
on the bar, bro.

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You know, and then you'd put more on and
you'd get hurt and do the thing.

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But I...

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My 12 year old daughter comes with me to
this gym now and like she's literally

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she's 12.

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She'll be 13 in my god, 20 days.

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But you know, she's like Doing, barbell
squats with I don't know 40 45 pounds on

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the bar or something like that And she's
doing what she can and like right across

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from her is one of my buddies who's like
six three six four You know squatting 250

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pounds

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Mm -hmm.

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like gets done with his squat, looks over
and he's like, Hey, nice job to my

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daughter who's doing four.

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Like it's, there's no ego.

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It's you're there for you.

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It's, it's very cool.

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I'm at the point now where I need, I think
I need a little bit more guidance and

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personalization in my workout.

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So I'm actually going to be hiring a coach
to help me like a couple of times a week,

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just to make sure my form is good.

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And, and.

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when my ego does get in the way, my form
is good and I'm not screwing myself up.

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Yeah, it's good to have somebody who
actually knows what they're talking about

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to point you in that direction.

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Yeah, the other thing that, you know, just
sort of looking back on my journey and

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what and getting to this point, like in
the past, I would have let this completely

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derail me.

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I would have just gone like, well, I'm
hurt.

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That's that's it.

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I'll just wait until I'm better.

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And then I'll, you know.

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Maybe I'll get back into it.

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But like every day I'm noticing I need to
go like this doesn't feel good.

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I need to go move.

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And so.

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It's an it's an it's just it's an
interesting evolution.

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It's one of those points where I can look
back now and go like you've come far

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enough now where you you're trying to
accelerate the healing process so that you

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can get back to it.

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And I know that when I go back into the
gym, the number is going to be lower on

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the bar because it's been a few days.

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The next time I run, it's going to be a
little bit slower.

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It's going to be a little bit harder
because I've done nothing now for the last

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few days.

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But I'm weirdly OK with it.

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I'm kind of like, OK, great.

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That's that's a great reminder of why you
need to slow down like.

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There is no race here.

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There's no finish line I'm trying to
accomplish.

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It's just doing the work every day.

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And so it's as much as it sucks to get
hurt.

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It's one of those great setbacks that
reminds me of how far I've come that

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mentally I can suffer this setback, but be
excited about kind of restarting and, you

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know, picking up where I left off, I
guess.

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Yeah, it's a lifestyle for you now.

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And that's very different.

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And I'm not saying that you shouldn't have
goals and you shouldn't have like, I want

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to run this faster.

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I want to lift this much weight.

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Like you shouldn't, like you absolutely
should have those.

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However, it's sometimes it's just about
moving your body and it's consistently

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moving your body.

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So we don't lock up.

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Like just this is a great example

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what happens when we don't move our body
all the time.

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I was at my girlfriend's house the other
day and I was bending over to pet the dog.

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And you know, like, so like my back was
kind of flat.

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Like I wasn't like totally like bent all
the way down, but I was bent over petting

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the dog.

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Didn't realize it.

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Her seven year old son was on the couch
behind me and launched himself off of the

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couch onto my back.

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because I was in like good enough shape, I
didn't fall, right?

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But it took every ounce of my strength to
like keep him up, keep him safe, not fall

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over, but it like tweaked my back a little
bit.

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And like I put him down on the couch and
you know, went into my lecture mode of

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like, don't ever do that when I'm not
looking.

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Like you gotta tell me when you're gonna
do that.

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I love it when you do that, but don't do
it when I'm not looking.

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but I hadn't worked out in a couple of
days.

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And it literally like tweaked my back a
little to the point where I was like, Ooh,

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I had to go like massage it out and like.

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have audio of this.

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Hang on.

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them.

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That does sound right.

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It does.

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It does.

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It was something like that, I'm sure.

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Yeah, I think there might have been a ffff
sound in there too.

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anyway, the point is like, you know, just
like moving consistently every day.

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A allowed me to catch him, but the fact
that I had taken a couple of days off, I

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think my back tweaked because I was like a
little stiff from the fact that I hadn't

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been working out.

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So it's just all about consistency and you
don't have to break the records every

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time.

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You just got to be in good enough shape to
catch the kid when he flies off the

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fucking couch at you.

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That's the thing, right?

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It's we interviewed a guy, Alan Meisner,
he talked about what is the concept.

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It's fit for task, right?

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Like if you're if you're training for a
marathon, you need to be fit for that

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task.

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You need to be able to run that many miles
and that that amount of time.

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If you need to be able to catch the kid
who unexpectedly jumps off the couch and

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lands on your back, you got to be in that
good enough shape.

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That should be the goal.

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That's the thing you're training for.

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In my case, it's similar.

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I have a 13 year old that still does it.

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She likes to run up and jump up on us
without just walking down a trail.

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And randomly, she's like, you know,

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piggyback ride and like without an
announcement just jumps and grabs on.

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You gotta be strong enough to handle that.

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Otherwise she tackles you to the ground
and it hurts and everybody's crying and it

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ends badly.

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So just.

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and she's always like, Daddy, stop crying.

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You're OK.

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Yes, it's all tears.

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It's just a lot of...

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So that to me, that's the reminder.

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Like, why am I going for my mental health?

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But I also want to be strong enough to be
able to keep up with my now 13 and eight

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year olds now and in the future so that,
you know, I can still whip their asses in

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a race and on the basketball court.

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So that's that's what keeps me going.

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like the great, it's such a great point
that I don't know why it's taken me like

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over 40 years of my life to realize this.

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Like there's ups and downs, right?

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And like I, for so many years I let the
downs get to me and I beat the shit out of

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myself mentally because I was on the
downside of something.

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And it doesn't matter.

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Like, it's, you're gonna go back up, and
you're gonna go back down, and you're

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gonna go back up and down.

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Like, it's just life.

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And there's no reason to get worried or
stressed out about it.

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Like, definitely don't let it slide.

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Be like, eh, okay, I gotta take a few days
off because I did something dumb and I

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hurt myself and I'm gonna come back
stronger.

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But that took me way too long to learn to
be okay with that.

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Yeah, I can't believe that we're sitting
here now.

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I'm 47 years old telling you I figured out
that like it's not a big deal that I got

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hurt and it just is going to take a few
days and I can get back to it.

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It doesn't it doesn't mean I'm a failure.

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It doesn't mean I suck at this.

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It doesn't mean that I'm anything other
than this dumb thing happened.

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And it's just the latest, you know, part
of the latest latest speed bump on the

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road to get me to where I'm trying to go.

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Yeah.

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And the other part too is like when that
does happen, so like I tweaked my back the

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other day, right?

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I can still do the other things.

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Like I can still walk.

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Like I had to take a day off from like my
normal activity, but you can still go do

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other things.

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So like make sure that you have all of
those bits and pieces of like, okay, this

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is the thing I choose to do.

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If I'm gonna suffer through this workout,
if I'm gonna put myself through mental

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anguish,

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to be better physically and mentally.

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And this is the thing I'm choosing and
this is the thing I'm okay with.

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And then you can't do it and you got
nothing else backed up backing it up.

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You're going to have a problem.

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So have like just a backup plan of like,
okay, well, I can't go lift weights.

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Well, I'm going to go walk.

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Well, I can't ride my bike.

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I'm going to go do this.

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I can't do this.

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I'm going to do that.

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Like just a backup.

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That's the next suitable, you know, thing
that you can

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Alright, well I'm mostly recovered so it's
time to go move my body.

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I gotta go do something today.

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I might I might walk.

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I might run.

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I don't know.

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We'll see what I can tolerate, but what I
do know is we gotta get out of here.

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So thank you so much for listening.

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If you've gotten anything out of this
conversation, please do share it with

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somebody who could benefit from it so we
can help others who struggle with the same

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stupid things like we do on a weekly
basis.

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00:14:01,784.9273008187301 --> 00:14:02,934.9273008187301
Thanks again for listening.

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Will be back next week with a new episode
at the fit mess .com.

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See you everyone.